I used to write poetry. It is something I miss doing, but the creative words that would pour from heart & mind to pen to paper don’t seem to come anymore. It is something that I’ve asked God to put back into my life.
Here is one I wrote nearly ten years ago.
Only by You am I sustained.
By Your right hand you uphold me.
In disappointments and shattered dreams,
You are the shoulder on when I lean.
You wipe away my tears!
Your peace overwhelms me!
In sorrow I am filled with joy!
By your grace you have kept me!
(August 03, 2000)
All rights reserved. Please be kind, do not take or use without permission.
I made a bad choice on Monday.
I chose to live in an attitude of frustration, anger, and selfishness.
A situation that had repeatedly turned out the way it did on Monday finally broke me. A situation that I was frustrated and tired of not going the way I wanted or needed to happen.
My anger and selfishness ate away at me like termites. I couldn’t fall asleep that night because as my brain shifted into drive in the silence of the sleeping world, I stewed again. I became defensive for MY right. My night was filled with dream filled tossing and I awoke tired and still selfish. Still frustrated.
I asked the Lord to take it from me because I was in no position to get rid of it. I relished in MY will.
I knew that being the first step, the next was that I needed to call my friend and apologize. My will tried to rationalize that she didn’t know I’d spent the last 24 hours sitting in a kiddie pool filled with the injured aspects of me, myself, and I. But nevertheless I knew I had to make that phone call.
So, with my stomach in knots I called. I apologized for being frustrated and angry and selfish.
And I asked for forgiveness.
After I hung up with her I felt instant relief. I was no longer angry at her. I wasn’t concerned with what I wanted. I was glad for a forgiving and understanding friend.
I’m not sure if I’d ever experienced such freedom. The binding shackles fell off like a sinking anchor.
If you’re the one sitting in the kiddie pool with your own injured aspects of me, myself, and I it’s time to get out of the pool. Ask for God’s provision of grace and apologize. Experience the freedom!
Saturday night, I was lying in bed waiting for the pleasant presence of sleep to overwhelm me. I was thinking about blog posts I needed to get up. I realized it was Sunday, May 09th, in Nagpur, India.
In the quiet of my dark bedroom, with Chihuahuas nestled in their crates I mentally began to sing:
It was officially her birthday, though it was still May 08th in my bedroom.
I wish I’d gotten a cupcake to split with Shawn for her. Maybe next year.
Painting I did for Nikita for her birthday.
(watercolors on watercolor paper. her favorite color is blue.)
I’ve really struggled with writing this post. When Jenny asked if I’d be willing to write a guest blog one day while she was in Africa, I jumped with both feet into the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I just love (relearning to love) writing.
But I’ve struggled with what to write. Jenny selected the topic of newness and I figured sure I can do that. But over the last week as I’ve thought and prayed about what to write about my mind has been blank. I don’t seem to have a definite newness story. I didn’t have an affair and can now rejoice & celebrate reconciliation with my husband, who proposed to me after we divorced our previous marriage. I haven’t traveled extensively and seeming each new day a new place, a new adventure. My husband didn’t have an affair and leave me. Trusting God as I relearn this newness of single life.
Continue reading here…
My mother went through a lot of crap with me especially during my teen years (who’s didn’t?). Things may have been difficult but she has never stopped loving me.
My mother-in-law raised three boys. I know that in part, my husband is who he is today because of things she instilled in him when he was growing up.
Earlier this year I picked up painting as a hobby. I decided this year to do a painting for each mom.
This one is for my mom.
This one for my mother-in-law.
Love – Shawn & Prudence
Saturday Shawn and I met my family up at the Grand Canyon for a little family time and to honor my Granny. It is a three hour drive for us and Shawn asked if I’d mind listening to Jon Acuff‘s Stuff Christians Like. I said sure.
I didn’t realize that over the next 6 or so hours (there & back) I would laugh so hard. Jon is hilarious with his little quips, his wittiness, but also extremely thought-provoking thoughts. I drove on the way up north and there were times I literally wanted to bang my head on the steering wheel I was laughing so hard. Don’t worry I kept my eyes on the road and my head off the steering wheel.
If you haven’t checked out the book or the audio book do it.
I was not asked by Jonathan Acuff, Zondervan, or any other entity to review this book. I did not, will not receive anything from this review.
Prudence is a 30-something writer who lives in Arizona with her husband Shawn and their chihuahuas Lengua and Zeus. She writes her life, her experiences and her crawl back to hope. Eventually, she hopes to visit India – a place that’s captured her heart without ever stepping foot on the soil.