If there is one thing that God has consistently been teaching me is to not walk/operate in fear. The desire to fear keeps showing up in so many aspects of my life. Even when we were on vacation I feared what if something happens to the plane? We’d be out walking and I’d fear what if someone walks up and mugs us? What if we’re in a car accident? This is strange because I just don’t think this way. I don’t fret about being mugged or being in a car accident or being in a plane crash, but fear has been doing it’s best to worm its way into my mind.
God is doing some amazing things in Shawn’s and my life. He’s guiding us in ways we didn’t know He would or think He’d take us. In a conversation we had the other evening I said that I’m not fearful, I’ve got a kind of scared excited anxiousness going on but of all the things I could be fearful in I’m not fearful in this.
My desire in life is to be like Peter and step out of the boat onto the lake, but instead of fearing that I’ll drown once uncertainty shows up I want to trust. I need to always remember what God has done previously. To trust that steps we’re taking that He’s still there beside us.
About a month and a half ago fear completely grabbed my heart. Steps that we thought God might be calling us to take literally sent me into a tailspin. After emails back and forth with a friend and an examination of my heart there was an adjustment of my attitude. Did that make the idea of what God could be calling us to any easier to swallow? No, but my focus was taken off of what I could try and do, and put on what He’s done in the past and what He is faithful to do in the future.
So not only am I learning to not walk in fear, I’m learning to trust. To lean so heavily on Him. If I’m fearful that He’s not going to hold me us I am going to fall. So here’s to taking steps and trusting that the next one will appear over that raging chasm.