Over the last few days I’ve been listening to the Genesis Series from The Austin Stone. It’s been a great series. One particular message (The Toll of Sin vs. The Peace of Jesus) brought instant tears to these green eyes. Halfway through the message Jeff Mangum, the teacher, brings into the story Hosea and Gomer. In a brief few minutes he tells their story and convicted my heart.
I’m prostituting myself to things that care nothing about me.
One of the more impactful points Jeff made was in paraphrasing God speaking to Hosea. He told Hosea to go get Gomer. You woo her. You pursue her. If someone is bidding for her you out bid them for her. You show her, her worth is found in your love for her.
I sat at my desk hearing these words and my eyes filling with tears. I sat there and realized I’m Gomer. I’m chasing after cheap things rather than the one who loves me.
My pursuer has pursued me till death (and raised Himself from death). He’s out bid every single thing that vies for my attention, for my heart, my mind, my passion. However, I’ve continuously chosen the lower bid. I’ve chased after the things that tickle my fickle heart and leave me wanting more over the God who has given me all I need: Himself.
I’ve been less than intentional. In all honesty I haven’t been. I’ve chosen to be lazy and just get by.
This week has been hard. The past couple have been in all actuality. Exhaustion, hormones and a possible imbalance of chemicals in my brain have left me ragged and the fingers of depression tickling. I shared this with a friend yesterday. The imbalance I was feeling. I know she prayed, but I can’t help but wonder. I’m not saying that if I’d been in the Bible more consistently it would have staved off the tickles of depression, but it surely wouldn’t have hurt.
My plan for the next while is to inundate myself in the book of Hosea. To remind myself of of my sin, my prostitutional ways, and the redeeming love of my God.