I’ve been think a lot about what grace looks like.
I’ve been wrestling with this for over a week.
Because honestly………–………I don’t think I really know what grace looks like. I think I had an idea – pretty pink frosting & crystal sugar sprinkles, and God is showing me that grace isn’t necessarily pretty, that sometimes grace gets down and works with kneading fingers in the mud puddle and comes up slightly tarnished.
I can’t seem to pour out the words of my heart. These wrestlings….they hide and rumble around like a thunderous Monsoon night.
I fight to make sense of them myself let alone share with you.
Some days it seems like grace looks like patience. Letting go of heavy sighs and grumbling thoughts about the person or thing slowing me down. The cashier taking their time at Walmart. The old(er) man cutting across into the left turn lane after I’d already moved over. In those moments the whispers of what grace looks like say patience.
Often He speaks that grace is forgiveness. Letting go of hurts, of wrongs. This is going to be a long process. Pruning. Purging. Stripping. This is the hardest part. A necessary one. It is one, that if I’m being honest part of me doesn’t want the change. Part of me wants to remain content with unforgiveness, of not learning that part of grace.
I really have no idea what I’m going to look like at the end of the year. My prayer is – of course – that I will look like grace. That my actions will drip of grace like morning dew.