Yesterday jealousy crept into my heart like a ghost. Haunting areas of my life and rattling bones of skeletons I thought were safely tucked away.
In situations I thought were under control and my patience firmly rooted, I witnessed them plucked from loose soil and whipped around by chain dragging ghosts. And observed flesh pulled back on my own self revealing festers that never quite healed fully, as envy oozed over what others have and God’s providential timing hasn’t placed into my life .
In all of this I’m learning that my story isn’t your story and your story isn’t mine. And that with jealousy I’m saying I want your story; I don’t want my own unique one.
Jealousy longs to take your chapters and fit them into my book, but I’ll quickly see that no amount of trimming and gluing and refitting, your pages don’t and won’t align with the pages that God is writing out in my life.
Jealousy and envy tend to thrive in seasons of wait. While we’re waiting for doors to open and questions to be answered we easily see everyone else’s doors open and questions answered. We believe that their doors and questions had immediate responses (which often is not the case) while ours seem to take forever.
Patience is difficult but always worth the wait. I want my story to be mine. Uniquely written for me. I don’t want jealousy to ghost write for me.