Living In Grace – OneWord 2011 Wrap Up

When I accepted this challenge of focusing on grace at the beginning of the year, I would never have dreamed that eleven months later my life would fall apart in such a way that 12 months after accepting this cup, I would need to step into grace in such a way that I’m not sure I ever have.

This grace….even after 12 months….feels foreign.

After angry [one sided] conversations with God that He had abandoned us, that He doesn’t care about us – and the humility it takes to return, stepping into grace – a grace that is readily available before I even begin to think about coming back – has taken time.

As my friend Elora shares, “those quick-to-reach defense mechanisms {focus thieves} seem mighty tempting when your heart’s a little gun-shy about crashing into Grace.”

Like slowly wading into a cold swimming pool, I’ve begun wading into God’s rich graces.  It hasn’t been a tidal wave of emotion.  I think because I’m possibly still healing and grace and the wooing has been more of a salve.  As if He’s willing not to be hasty in 100% healing.

You never imagine life will turn out the way it does.  Whether the end results are happy or not.  It’s always much different than we picture.

As I look back over these past two months, I wonder if God orchestrated this year of grace for this season alone.  If it goes beyond merely becoming more like Him, to Him needing me to breathe it in.  That He knew I would need to know His grace doesn’t fluctuate the way mine does.  That it is more constant than the rising and setting of the sun, despite the accusations I prosecute Him with.  So, He made it my focus.  He zeroed my heart in on everything having to do with His grace for me.

I wrote back in June, that I was realizing that this learning of grace wouldn’t be finished when the clock strikes 2012.  Now, I realize just how much I’ll be learning about grace as 2011 dawns into 2012.

Next week I’ll be sharing my One Word for 2012.  I’ve known what it was for a while, and given my current circumstances – I see that He not only reaches across thousands and thousands of miles, but across the constraints of time to prepare us.