It was a week and a half ago and I was still fighting blinding anger. I wasn’t at the indifferent stage yet in this cycle I’d been running, and consideration was the furthest thing from my mind.
I’d made accusations against God based on feelings that have been ravaging me. Accusations of abandonment, of the lack of caring.
We were scheduled to volunteer at an event for Compassion and honestly I didn’t want to go. I wanted to be home, warm, cozied on my couch with my book. I didn’t want to have to put on a “happy, Jesus is awesome & compassionate” face. [just being honest here]
I was finishing up my day at work when I got a text from Shawn. We had a message from our sponsored child.
If you don’t sponsor, or even if you do – these letters have the ability to make a bad day good, and even bring joy when all you feel is anger.
When I got home we opened the letter. Inside was an anniversary card from our sponsor daughter Nikita for our tenth anniversary. My eyes brimmed with salty tears and quickly overflowed.
The card was accompanied by a letter. With my eyelashes still damp from tears I read that she loves math, and I think how smart this beautiful young lady is. She sends kisses and hugs and I think how loved we are.
And she closes her letter with a verse. This is the first time in two and a half years. I read the illuminated text written by a 11 year old girl half a world away, and an overflow of sloppy tears inundate my cheeks again.
I wonder at how a young girl who wrote this letter about two months prior (a month or so before this all started happening in our lives) would choose this verse for a letter that would arrive at this season in our lives.
My mind floats to God, and I believe that it was at this point that my shell first started to crack.
It still amazes me that God reached from the other side of the globe, that months prior to this season even starting He moved upon the heart of a little Indian girl to minister to us.