I haven’t been around much this week. I’ve been silent here, been fairly quiet on Twitter, and haven’t even been reading blogs. In fact I marked quite a few as read just because I don’t have it in me right now. Those left unread will wait for me. Their #secretmessages will be right when I need them. I believe this.
Remember those emotions? Still battling them. Yesterday I wrote in my journal it’s like my heart is speaking a language I don’t know and is getting tongue tied at that.
How do you communicate with your heart when you can’t understand it?
Shawn sent me a quote yesterday,
“Bravery is a muscle, like love. You have to exercise it constantly or it will turn flabby.” – Chris Brogan on depression & bravery
I’ve never thought about bravery this way. In all my learning that being brave is something you do when you’re afraid I never realized that I have to exercise it the way I exercise love or my legs. Shawn and I recently got bikes and I’ve been working up my number of miles per ride. My legs get sore with each rotation of the pedals but they’re slowly getting idea of what they should be doing. Each ride is going to get easier.
The same is with my bravery.
This week I haven’t felt brave. In fact I’ve felt pretty low. There’s no need to worry. I’m dealing with it.
I’m going to do my best to plump my feathers and allow the wind to carry me where it wants, keeping the smallest amount of bravery I can muster up in my hands.