When January 1st dawned and 2011 became 2012 I had no expectations for the new year. I had no idea how this year of hope would play out. During my year of grace I had this expectation that I’d be taught to have grace and compassion, but things went completely in a direction I hadn’t expected. Yes, I learned these things but during those 365 days so much of what I was learning was God’s grace for me. It was – in a way – a crushed, tattered, bow that would be placed over my broken heart.
So, I started 2012 with no expectations. Not only because I had no idea what to expect, but primarily because in the heart there is so much equality with expectation and hope. If I couldn’t dare to hope, I couldn’t dare to expect. So I started walking fearful of the waves that were calling me.
This year has been one of learning courage, of learning to trust. And this hope and this courage and this trust hasn’t been easy. I know I’ve grown but there are moments when I still feel so broken. I still struggle to trust God. To give myself over to Him fully again.
But learning to walk takes time. We stumble. We fall on our butts. We walk into walls. We trip.
But we get up and try again. That’s what this year has been for me. Learning to walk, falling, and getting back up again.
I’m excited for 2013 and my Word for the year. There is also trepidation as it is calling for a choice to act. I’m excited to share it with you and will do so soon.
“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. List the the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen child. Anything can be.” – Shel Sliverstein
“The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.” – Barbara Kingsolver
“Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering ‘it will be happier’…”- Alfred Tennyson