“We both believe, and disbelieve a hundred times an hour,
which keeps believing nimble.” – Emily Dickinson
i’m probably the last person you should come to for hope. i mean i had an entire year i devoted to learning to hope again, and after 366 days of trying to do so i arrive at today and i still struggle with hope and i still struggle with trust and i still struggle with dreams and i still struggle with wishing.
but the fact of the matter is that we all do. even the best of us find it difficult to trust over something. we all face fears and resistance. we all at one time or another want to give up. we’ve all had a dream dashed to the ground and some of us still live with the fall out years later of hope deferred. not that we’re dwelling there, but there is pain when our dreams don’t come true and there are some of those dreams that we will always feel pain over not seeing them come to fruition.
i once wrote about a definition of hope being a small haven. i still love that definition because when my doubts become larger than my hopes i need some place i can feel safe in. hope doesn’t always feel safe though. sometimes we need to feel brave and courageous just to have a little hope. but hope is still a place, even in our doubts, where we can abide.
so, maybe the only encouragement i can offer you in your doubts is that you’re not alone. your mother, your father, your wife, your husband, your child, the lady in the cubicle next to you, the guy in the $70k car next to you at the stop light. they’ve all known doubt. they’ve all had dreams & hopes broken like fragile, priceless glass.
…and maybe that’s the only way you can see hope as a haven right now. that you’re not alone. and that’s perfectly acceptable. and maybe you need to sit with your doubts for a spell. and that’s also perfectly acceptable. and one day after that season your hope and your faith will be a little stronger. and that will be absolutely fantastic.
“And yet when I wish to explore how faith works, I usually sneak in by the back door of doubt, for I best learn about my own need for faith during its absence. God’s invisibility guarantees I will experience times of doubt. Everyone dangles on a pendulum that swings from belief to unbelief, back to belief, and ends – where?” – Philip Yancy
it’s been a while since i’ve had a giveaway and i’m feeling rather giveraway-ish. to enter to win this original art piece (by me) simply follow the rafflecopter’s friendly questions.
today’s post is part of story 101.