Within 24 hours we found out that my husband was getting laid off, and that one of our dogs was diagnosed with heart disease. Needless to say, the last 48 hours of last week’s work week were very difficult.
From nearly the moment I learned about my husband’s job, I felt complete peace about it. Truth be told, it is something we wanted for a long time but the need to pay bills and fear kept him there. Yet in that moment I felt peace. I still feel peace. Yes, I am anxious about paying our bills, but I am doing my best to trust that we will be provided for. We have been in the past.
That night after learning about his job, I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep. It hit me with great force. JOY. These last six months have been great. I’ve been doing well emotionally, I’ve felt joy like I haven’t in a long time.
I don’t know what these next six months of 2014 hold. But as I laid there in bed, my mouth agape, I understood. Or at least I began to. I wove my way through each of my last three words and how they were interconnected with this year’s. I wove my way around and through how they were each connected to the same set of circumstances in our lives, building up to this climatic moment.
I fought so hard against accepting JOY as part of my word for this year. I knew that this would either be a REALLY hard year, a great year, or both. And right now I sit on the border of joy challenged. Six months of easy joy, facing six months of hard joy.
This year has been building up to it. All I can say, is I hope I’m strong enough.
These words we choose never fail to let us down or challenge us to our core.