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“I’m so tired losing my hope. I’m so tired of sleeping. I’m so tired of forgetting to trust. I’m so tired of settling.”

My sister-in-law, Nina, penned these words and as I listened to the song the other day and they gripped me.

As strange as it sounds, giving up hope is difficult.  A heart’s natural tendency is to hope.  So when we force it not to, it goes all or nothing.

As much as I don’t want to give into the vulnerability that hope calls for and reality’s whispers of disappointment, I am tired of not hoping, of not trusting.

Kick starting our hearts to hope again, to trust again isn’t an easy task.  And frankly I’m not sure how it happens.

All I know as I listen again to her words, is that something needs to change.  Whatever intentionality needs to happen for my heart and my mind to begin hoping again.

Do you have any recommendations for kick starting hope?

Do you think that hope is something that just happens, or is it like trust in that it is a slow growing process?

I’ve heard it said that if you’re dealing with writer’s block, the best thing you can do is just write.

I’m not quite sure if I have writer’s block or the fact that I’m processing a lot personally, but I feel the need to put this practice into place in my life.

My plan right now is to post three times a week.  I feel this is an attainable goal.  Likely these posts will fall on Monday, Wednesday, & Friday.  Don’t be surprised if I sneak one in on a random Tuesday. 😉

Mondays, I hope to begin focusing more on 1000 Gifts.  These last few months have left me breathless and I’ve taken for granted even the minute gifts in my life, not to mention the large ones.  I want to start recognizing these and being grateful for the pillowy clouds in the sky & the way I seem to sink into my bed when getting up for work is the last thing I feel like doing.

Wednesdays, I’ll focus more on what God is showing me.  Things I’m learning.  Things going on in my life.  Whether these be people or lessons associated with my One Word or just life in general.

Fridays, I plan to focus specifically on my One Word:  hope.  I did this last year with my word Grace, and Elements of Grace.  It was helpful for me to keep my word in my constant thoughts.  It helped me keep my antenna up & take note of where God was showing me where grace abides.

I don’t have a catch little title for my Friday hope series & that’s probably okay. 🙂

Once again, thank you for spending time here.  I count all of you in my blessings.

I was making my way through late afternoon rush hour pondering Noah.  I can relate to his being stuck on a boat in the middle of an ocean.  Figuratively mind you, not literally.

Part of what has left me grasping at the threads of hope today is this feeling of being abandoned by God.

As I minded my own driving and bewared of those around me I wondered if Noah had felt abandoned by God.  God had given him a definitive time frame in which He would cause it to rain:  40 days & 40 nights.  But I wonder if during sleepless nights, rocked by crashing waves if he felt it would never end.  If during the tense moments with his wife, or the marital spats between his sons and their wives if he wondered if God had forgotten about him and in His anger towards man’s sin just left him, these seven other people, & an ark full of testy animals adrift in this forsaken water wasteland.

Surely, after the rain stopped and they simply floated and floated and floated for 10+ months still encased in Beaver Wood, he felt as though God had abandoned him.

Forgotten His promise to him.

As I had been reading this account of Noah and the flood I was stopped by four words.  Four powerful words:

But God remembered Noah.

I find hope in these words.

A hope that God hasn’t left me adrift in the ocean no matter how much it feels like it.  That in the midst of these last five and a half years of journeying to something greater that God has for me, He remembered Prudence.

He remembered the contention between husband and wife, and the tears each have shed as we walk this journey.  He remembered the confessions of sin and the begging Him to move when it seemed I could cry no more over the weariness & exhaustion.

He remembered.

This of course isn’t to say that we still aren’t making our way, and that our “ark” has rested on dry ground.  It hasn’t.  But what it does do is encourages my heart to cling to whatever hope I can.

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Hope.

It feels so distant.  And honestly I’m fearful of it.

To me, hope is the looking forward to, it is an anticipation.

I’m leery of anticipating what the future holds for us, for me because I’m still working through hope deferred.

Hope requires trust, and trust is presently difficult.

(Image Source)

At the time when God gave me this word it meant something completely different than what I hold in my hands this chilly winter’s day.  During those moments when the heat of summer beat down on my neck, it held an excitement for what might be, a dream.

Today it means something completely different, and like I said it causes fear and hesitation in my heart.

However, I accept this word that God has serenaded over me for the last five months.  I’m choosing to be vulnerable.

I hold out shaking hands with leery fingers and accept this gift.  He would not have given it to me if He didn’t think know I would need it.

Thank you for joining and walking with me in the journey to hope.

Mandy Steward of Messy Canvas wrote this great post on what to do with your One Word.  I plan to incorporate some of these into my year.  In fact, I’ve created a board at Pinterest.

Join our community at One Word 365.

{dóchas is the Irish word for hope.  i read the word in book and loved it.}

Are you joining in One Word this year, if so what is your Word?

Is there anything you’re doing with your Word to keep it flowing through your mind?