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The haunting…

As I mentioned in my review of Permission To Speak Freely yesterday I loved the book.  The night I started reading it ended up being a difficult night sleep-wise.  I got only about three hours of sleep total.  As I laid there tossed from my left to my right to my stomach and complete 360′s my mind wandered to fears.  Fears I have.  Fears that don’t necessarily keep me up at night but haunt the crevices of my mind.

I wandered down stairs and got my journal.  I wrote out these fears.  I needed to put them down on yellowish paper with black/blue ink. They haunt me.  I don’t know how to escape them.  Some of them are bigger than others.  All of them are real.  They speak to my life right now.

The unrelenting…

I wrote in Monday’s post that after some circumstances that I walked in fear over, that God gave me courage.  However, if I’m going to be honest those circumstances which I haven’t left still bring out tremendous fear.  Even just Sunday night conversations with Shawn brought my fears to the brim.

The problem with fear, is we know reality.  There have been many times that I’ve had to trust God.  There was no other option.  Three weeks before Shawn and I got married I got laid off from my job.  Not usually the way a new couple plans to start their life together.  We spent the first three months of our marriage having to trust God to provide.  It wasn’t easy.  I remember crying on his shoulder because I couldn’t find a job, and should we go get food from our church’s Manna Ministry.  Despite our own fears God provide.  We paid our bills, met our rent on time, and at times had money left over.

I wonder where the disconnect happens.  When we have evidences of God’s faithfulness, yet we still choose to live in fear.  Fear that we won’t be able to pay our bills, fear that God is asking us to do the unthinkable, fear that we will never be healed.  The list goes on and on and on.

Your turn, confession.  I want this place (PrudyChick.com) to be a place that we can be open with one another.  I want you to feel free to speak freely without fear of being judged by me or other readers.  Today I want you to share your fears.  I’m not talking ones like being afraid of spiders or snakes or the dark, but the ones that haunt you and don’t relent.

Also don’t forget to enter to win a copy of Anne Jackson’s book Permission To Speak Freely here.

Fear Part: 1, 2, 4, 5

[Today I continue my series on fear with a review of Permission To Speak Freely.]

I had been anxiously, anxiously awaiting the release of Anne Jackson‘s second book Permission To Speak Freely from the moment I heard she was writing it.  Her desire to speak up motivated me, encouraged me.

I was unsure which path she was going to take in her essays, but I believe her avenues were completely different than what I expected.  Over the course of 29 essays Anne shares her testimony of being silenced by church folk and shares her testimony and others’ testimonies of being able to confess.

Many of the essays I read through tear blurry eyes as I related with my own stories.  She shares her heart and allows you to walk with her as she gives voice to silence.

She bookends segments of essays with art and poetry.  Beautiful art with tragic confessions submitted by those who wanted to speak freely.

………………

The book is a fairly quick read, though as I mentioned a meaningful one.  Anne’s words weave a beautiful story.

I highly recommend reading it especially if you’ve experienced being silenced.

Visit the Permission To Speak Freely website here.

Give away:  I am giving away a copy of Permission To Speak Freely to one reader.  If you wish to be entered for a chance to receive the book, please leave a comment below.  The contest will be open until Saturday at 6 PM Pacific, and the winner announced on Tuesday, September 14th.  I will choose the winner via random number generator.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

**Confession images from Permission To Speak Freely used with permission by Anne Jackson

Fear Part: 1, 3, 4, 5

Back in June I wrote a post about not walking in fear.  I had just come out of some circumstances that left me breathless.  I’d walked in fear and my post was about how God had given me grace and courage.

Fear affects everyone.  From being afraid of heights to phobias that prevent us from leave our houses (Agoraphobia).

This week I will be doing a series on fear.  Fears that rip at our souls and haunt us, that leave us broken.

A look at this week:

Tuesday: Review of Anne Jackson’s book Permission To Speak Freely
Wednesday:  The Haunting & Unrelenting
Thursday:  Defined by Courage – guest post by Sarah Markley
Friday:  Moving Away

I want this to be a place where we can talk.  On Wednesday I’ll be offering a chance to confess your fears.  To get them all out on the table so to speak.  On Friday I’ll be offering a chance to give encouragement and reflection.  I’ll explain more both at those times.

Thank you for taking this journey.  I look forward to the conversations that will take place.

I submitted a confession today for Anne Jackson‘s new book Permission To Speak Freely that is coming out I believe next year. Here is my confession.