I am selfish, impatient, pride filled, occasionally manipulative, often angry, jealousy ridden.
More that that, I am forgiven, accepted, redeemed, slowly being sanctified, worthy, found beautiful, precious in His sight, worth the price of the land, made new and clean.
As I see more of my sin, I realize more, that I am evidence of His grace.
I don’t take compliments well. I don’t know why, I just don’t. Which is weird since my Love Language is Affirmation. I don’t know how to respond when complimented. I feel…………weird.
My husband is my greatest fan and the major source of all compliments. He makes me feel loved (see previous paragraph mentioning love language). Shawn leaves for work before I do and is home before I am. In other words there are 10 hours of the day he doesn’t see me. He sees me at the end of the day with worn makeup, flat hair where it’s supposed to be poofy, rumpled clothes. He finds me beautiful. In that moment.
Today (Monday) was one of those days. I was satisfied (settled) with what I’d chosen to wear – which as ladies know can mean going through your entire wardrobe twice before finding something – my skirt probably could have stood to be ironed and my bangs hidden forehead could have definitely been less oily. Yet, Shawn’s response when seeing me was that “I looked good” (husband speak for beautiful).
Shawn’s favorite word for me is fancy. To him everything I do is fancy. I joke with him that I could be in a gunny sack and he’d still think I was fancy.
I may never be able to take compliments, and never think of myself as fancy, but he does and that makes all the difference in the world and makes me feel loved and beautiful.
Prudence is a 30-something writer who lives in Arizona with her husband Shawn and their chihuahuas Lengua and Zeus. She writes her life, her experiences and her crawl back to hope. Eventually, she hopes to visit India – a place that’s captured her heart without ever stepping foot on the soil.