I have felt so helpless lately. It started a while ago seeing images of precious people living on nothing just trying to get by.
It came roaring at me two weeks ago with the earthquake in Haiti. The images of poverty stricken, broken people floated before my eyes. I didn’t close the websites or stop reading the Tweets because I wanted to look.
Last Sunday at church God literally wrecked me. Our pastor decided to forgo communion after the teaching and allow people to pray for Haiti while worship was led. We watched this video done by Pastors Mark Driscoll & James McDonald who went to Haiti to help churches just days after the earthquake. Within seconds of the video starting I was crying. I hadn’t cried for Haiti yet. All I could do the rest of the service was cry and plead to God to save: spiritually and physically.
It isn’t just Haiti though. It’s all children and families that are in devastating poverty. That is what breaks my heart. I want to argue with God and ask Him why are you allowing this to happen to your creation. Why are you allowing the flesh and blood you wove together to be eaten away by diseases and malnutrition?
Today Shawn showed me pictures that Tony Morgan Tweeted from his trip to Burkina Faso through Compassion. All I wanted to do besides cry for these children, was bring them into my home and take care of them. Love them.
I know it isn’t an accident that God has placed these feelings in my heart. I’ve pleaded with Him over and over to break my heart for the things that break His. This is an answer to prayer. Yet, I still feel so helpless. We sponsor our precious, beautiful little Nikita in India and fully plan on sponsoring more in the future. Yet, I still feel so helpless. I pray. We donate to Haiti, and yet… I feel like there is so much more I could do and don’t know how or what.
I just want to be open to what He has for Shawn and I. I guess my feeling helpless means I just lean on Him all that much more and He’ll be the work in me that moves my hands the way they need to be moved.
Prudence is a 30-something writer who lives in Arizona with her husband Shawn and their chihuahuas Lengua and Zeus. She writes her life, her experiences and her crawl back to hope. Eventually, she hopes to visit India – a place that’s captured her heart without ever stepping foot on the soil.