My day yesterday was filled with Excel sheets, emails, phone calls, and chowing down on baked goods (it’s not even the holidays yet and we’ve had a stash of baked goods at work, I’m in trouble).
It’s also been full of contemplation. Sadness.
Something that Shawn and I were looking forward to and praying about if we should go, fell through. Door completely and utterly shut, locked and barricaded. We were set, but we’d waited too long in some arrangement making.
A trip that would have impacted us in many different ways, including the chance (that had me doing spins of excitement in my office chair till I got really dizzy) to meet a Twitter/Blog friend for the first time.
When Shawn shared the news of what was going on, or not going on for that matter my reply was, “Well maybe this was about us just obeying rather than going.” His – and probably the more correct scenario – “Or maybe we waited too long to obey.”
I’d sent an email to my boss today saying I didn’t need to take the time I’d requested off cause our plans got canceled. He replied that he was sorry to hear that. The thoughts that echoed in my mind were me too.
So on top of manipulating rows and rows of our customer’s inventory I’ve been wondering about this. Were we supposed to go. Were we supposed to board a giant metal tube with giant metal wings that would carry us to a place that would make big impacts? Did my pulling a Gideon on God and having Him answer my request (TWICE) and then not having the faith to actually believe it is what He wanted completely mess this up?
I’m trying to to wallow in the did I mess up part, but trying to rectify in my heart and mind what this all means. If I did mess up, that means confession and growth to move forward next time.
The truth is, I’ll never know what the correct scenario was. If it was simply about the obeying or if we waited to long to obey.
Prudence is a 30-something writer who lives in Arizona with her husband Shawn and their chihuahuas Lengua and Zeus. She writes her life, her experiences and her crawl back to hope. Eventually, she hopes to visit India – a place that’s captured her heart without ever stepping foot on the soil.